When Plans Change

The final session of any state convention is the one

session that I wish would go perfect. No flaws in videos or music, retiring addresses delivered in pure elegance, and everyone would leave living out their dream as newly elected state officers.

Truth though....they don't go perfect. They can't go perfect. And just as no state convention can go perfect, neither can any of our lives.

But when I finally realized that it was me who had to change this mindset of perfection, me who had to be humbled, and my plans that needed to be ruined-my life hasn't changed drastically and hasn't looked the same since. And for that i'll eternally be grateful.

When i had to finally look in the mirror it was after one of the biggest failures of my entire life. (it definitely wasn't the first, nor will it be the last.) I had crawled off the airplane-more or less a crop duster- at the Manhattan Airport preparing to return to the life as a college student that I had dreamed I would leave behind. National FFA Convention had just concluded the day before and my name had not been called as a newly-elected national officer.

What I thought had been God's plan didn't turn out quite as I had thought. My plans were ruined.

I'm not sure if I've ever gone through quite the amount of humiliation as I did over those next few months. And even now, as i'm able to live out this dream a year later, i find the embarrassment still creeping its way into my thoughts. My mind could only wonder what people thought of me, how disappointed they were, and how my reputation had been affected.

My plans were ruined.

I knew God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit before I ran for national office-but never had my life been so flipped turned, upside down when my will didn't align with God's will. I thought I was following His plan, being faithful, and chasing Him, but still His sovereign will was greater than mine. My plans were ruined.

When most people refer to their plans as ruined it's a negative thing. Check out this definition: RUIN is a state of complete destruction, decay, collapse, or loss. However, my plans being ruined was the greatest thing to ever happen to me. (Yes, you read that right.)

At the time I was like any other person who had failed, i didn't understand. And to an extent, i didn't want to understand, because then the reality that it was me who had to change would have to set in. Granted, it was tough, it still is tough. But i'm a different person, and i pray a different person for good.

i love Jesus.

This personal example of my plans being ruined is really important for me to share because over the last couple of weeks I 've watched as new state officer teams are elected across the nation. And just as joyous as those victories of being elected are--my heart breaks for those left in the stands. The last session of any convention is the most challenging for me because I've been there, on both sides of the equation.

i love Jesus.

To anyone who has lost, to everyone who has failed, and to the one's still trying to understand why a 'good' God would allow something that causes pain---know that we can TRUST Him!

Don't be afraid, he said, for you are deeply loved by God. Be at peace; take
heart and be strong! ~Daniel 10:19

We can TRUST Him because He is sovereign. He has a plan at work for our life far greater than our mere human brains can figure out, and He is using our struggle to ruin our plans to only bring us closer to Him.

And being closer to Him is the closest
thing to pure joy we can ever know.

To those who are having to seek a new dream, know that you're being prayed for. And in His time, you'll understand too.

There is a time for everything, a season for every activity under heaven. ~Ecclesiastes 3:1